{"id":12817,"date":"2020-05-14T15:26:57","date_gmt":"2020-05-14T22:26:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.3rdactmagazine.com\/?p=12817"},"modified":"2023-09-04T15:20:17","modified_gmt":"2023-09-04T22:20:17","slug":"its-ok-that-youre-not-ok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>By Megan Devine<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Reviewed by Sally Fox<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-12816 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"187\" height=\"285\" srcset=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover.jpg 1575w, https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover-600x914.jpg 600w, https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover-197x300.jpg 197w, https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover-672x1024.jpg 672w, https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover-1008x1536.jpg 1008w, https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover-1344x2048.jpg 1344w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 187px) 100vw, 187px\" \/><\/a>If you\u2019ve known devastating loss, reading <em>It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK<\/em> by Megan Devine can be like sitting with a compassionate friend who knows that you\u2019re not crazy and doesn\u2019t try to fix you. \u201cThe way we deal with grief in our culture is broken,\u201d Devine says at the start of her book, then she illustrates how often we hurt the grieving friends whom we most want to comfort. We expect friends to manage their losses, implying that they should \u201cjust get on with life\u201d after a suitable period of time. We think we offer help with our hopeful platitudes but leave our deeply grieving friends feeling alienated and dismissed, worried that it\u2019s not OK to feel the pain they are still feeling.<\/p>\n<p>After describing how many forms of support can hurt someone dealing with grief, Devine shares what can help, drawing from her work as a therapist and personal experience with tragedy. Never again will you attempt to cheer people out of their feelings or wax on about a probable silver lining. Instead, you\u2019ll understand the power of being present to a friend\u2019s pain even when it feels unbearable, listening for what your friend needs, and keeping your heart open with compassion.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Megan Devine Reviewed by Sally Fox If you\u2019ve known devastating loss, reading It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK by Megan Devine can be like sitting with a compassionate friend<span class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\" title=\"Read More\">More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-book-review"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK &#8212; 3rd Act Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Megan Devine Reviewed by Sally Fox If you\u2019ve known devastating loss, reading It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK by Megan Devine can be like sitting with a compassionate friendMore\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"3rd Act Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/3rdActMagazine\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-05-14T22:26:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-09-04T22:20:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Victoria Starr Marshall\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@3rdActMag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@3rdActMag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Victoria Starr Marshall\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Victoria Starr Marshall\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3c9ccf25e7e25f470f43657014466048\"},\"headline\":\"It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-05-14T22:26:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-04T22:20:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\"},\"wordCount\":229,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-cover.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Book Review\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok\/book-review\/\",\"name\":\"It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK &#8212; 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