{"id":45124,"date":"2025-09-16T11:53:41","date_gmt":"2025-09-16T18:53:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/?p=45124"},"modified":"2025-09-16T11:53:41","modified_gmt":"2025-09-16T18:53:41","slug":"november-song-walter-marinettis-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/3rdactmagazine.com\/november-song-walter-marinettis-story\/wellness\/end-of-life\/","title":{"rendered":"November Song\u2014Walter Marinetti\u2019s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lee and I sit together on a late November afternoon in \u201cLee\u2019s Gazebo\u201d at Springmoor, our retirement home in Raleigh, North Carolina. \u201cBeautiful day, bright day, lighting the trees,\u201d says Lee. \u201cNice breeze, nice gazebo, beautiful day,\u201d she croons. I listen. Lee is the love of my life, my second wife. Her echolalia\u2014a repetition of phrases\u2014is caused by severe memory loss. First recognized in the 1700s, dementia diagnoses affect 10 percent of the U.S. adult population in 2025,* according to health statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Science aside, I smile at Lee, admiring her keen ability to savor the beauty and delight of a moment. Her voice is my most joyful song.<\/p>\n

This moment triggers my memory of the 1938 Knickerbocker Holiday<\/em> premier in New York City, where I was born in 1924. In my life\u2019s springtime then, I was captivated by the musical\u2019s song about an older man wooing a young woman. \u201cLife,\u201d he intoned, \u201cis a long passage from a youthful May to the December of life\u2019s end.\u201d He wanted precious time with the show\u2019s star. My star, Lee, is now 94, and I am her centenarian caregiver. It is a labor of love.<\/p>\n

Back from the gazebo, we sit in our apartment, in precious aloneness. November\u2019s fleeting days are evident on a wall calendar that will soon advance. It hangs near photos and mementos from years past.<\/p>\n

When I joined the U.S. Army in 1943 after high school graduation, I had no idea of the impact dementia would have on my \u201cthird act.\u201d Back then, my life\u2019s story was not yet written. One chapter includes my wartime assignment to a convoy that moved in 1945 from New Guinea up through the Philippine Islands to Manila.<\/p>\n

After the war, I met my first wife, Amelita, at Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. After marrying, we had two children and divorced in 2005. In 2023, death came calling. That fateful year, my beloved daughter died, my son suffered a heart attack, and their mother passed away from dementia. My son\u2019s sudden illness brought back memories of our family\u2019s earlier years, including four I spent designing and fabricating exhibits for the Smithsonian Institution, a national treasure in our nation\u2019s capital.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve enjoyed many treasures and am grateful, but more than any accolades or grand experiences, including my glimpse on a trip of the fabled and wondrous Treasury of Petra in Jordan, my greatest treasure has been Lee. We returned today to \u201cher\u201d gazebo, savoring the fading light. I sighed, not with regret, but from the presence of a terrible mind thief.<\/p>\n

As I help Lee to bed this evening, I know that the December of life\u2019s end will eventually come. We cannot know who will leave first, but I pray that we see one last sunray through the trees turn \u201cLee\u2019s Gazebo\u201d golden. Please, dear Powers of the Universe, may December not linger\u2014let it be mercifully brief.<\/p>\n

Barbara K. Cleary is a graduate of the City University of New York and publishes an international education blog\u00a0<\/em>http:\/\/attentionology.com<\/em><\/a>. She has conducted writing workshops and programs to entertain and inspire adults in regional retirement communities since 2005. She has also produced radio programming, including\u00a0The Medical Minute, for the North Carolina News Network. Cleary\u2019s awards include the North Carolina Governor’s Business Award and a National Top Ten Business Woman award. <\/em><\/p>\n

Information on Dementia:<\/p>\n